April 2017 Roundup

Oh hey guys!

So as you’ve probly figured out; I’m finally back in Alaska. I landed back home on the 1st from Chile.

And to get to the point, here are the posts I released this month:

10 reasons to visit the Ross Sea  See why you should visit this little-touristed slice of Antarctica,

Tambomachay-Cusco walk   Peru on a budget? Here is a cheap day trip option.

Campbell Island   New Zealand’s Subantarctic Paradise.

Fann Mountain Guide Trekking and general information for Tajikistan’s stunning Fann Mountains.

How to get an ESTA  Planning a visit to the USA?

Cruising El Nido w/Apetours Who to book with in El Nido + video!

How I’ve Made $414.68 as a Travel Blogger The follow up to my post in 2015 How I’ve made 0.21 As A Travel Blogger.

And if you care to read about what happened in April….

The highlight reel:

 It’s springtime in Alaska

March through June is my favorite time of year!


For the first time in 3 years at Alyeska. Don’t worry, I still got it.


and glaciering at Spencer and Knik Glaciers.

Aurora chasing

Probably the last storm for the season that I’ll get to see!

Making videos

I’m finally making the jump! El Nido was my first project.

Watch them!

I’ve begun the process of getting Italian citizenship

I’ve known for years that I’ve been eligible for Italian citizenship jure sanguinis. I’ve been saying I was gonna do it for years and am finally getting around to it. Although I did debate on whether to list this on the highlight reel or the shitlist, as it’s a pain in the ass! Plus now I have to wait for a date to magically open up for me to go to the consulate and apply… however navigating that website is an all out nightmare and it doesn’t look like there is any availability to schedule an appointment for the next decade (I’m not kidding). I even emailed them and asked if could call and arrange an appointment and they told me to check back on the website at 3 pm each day to see if anyones cancelled. Really? I live roughly 4,000 miles from the nearest consulate… I need a little time to plan. I figure it’s probably backed up because our beloved el presidente and now everyone seems to want dual citizenship somewhere else. That’s not why I’m applying, I mostly want it for travel related purposes and to have the option of working in EU if I ever choose so. Don’t worry, I’ve always disliked Donald Trump. I couldn’t stand him before it was trendy and hipster to hate him. I couldn’t stand to listen to him talk when I was a teenager on the ‘Apprentice’ when it first started on tv. And if at this point you’re making assumptions about what I identify with politically, you’re probably wrong. I’m non-partisan in case you were curious, because I think all the parties are full of equally slimy, shitty, poor excuses for human beings- otherwise known as politicians.

The Shit List:

Matanuska Glacier

The hillbillies that own the land adjacent to Matanuska Glacier are officially on the list of things the rightly pissed me the fuck off this month. I get it, they had every right to charge people for use of their access road at a steep $25 per head for the complete lack maintenance guised under the lovely lie they spew for the fee going toward road maintenance. But y’all motherfuckers don’t own the glacier. Unbeknownst to me, I drove all the way out there only to find out these asshats are now imposing a $100 ‘mandatory guide’ to access it, even if you’re only going out to, say, picnic at the end of the road and not going to explore the glacier. So if you’re planning a trip out here and wanted to explore on your own, go elsewhere. Alaska has plenty other easily accessible glaciers for viewing without the ridiculous surcharge. And PS, there are a couple legit companies like MICA Guides with real guides offering guided tours of the glacier for those of you still wanting to visit.

All social media

Do I need to even go into any kind of depth with this? They all suck a bag of dicks. ALL OF THEM.

Some stupid organization called Social Native

Fuck you Social Native and an even bigger fuck you to Coca Cola… I got an email from ‘Nancy’ at Social Native (they’ve been crawling up my ass about joining their stupid program or app or whatever vapid garbage their peddling). Nancy had found a campaign that was a ‘perfect fit’ for my Instagram account. So I clicked her bait link out of curiosity… oh my god, I hit the elusive motherfucking jackpot….


The perfect fit was to post a photo between this date and that date of a Coke product they’d send you while gaming and then in your caption and include the usual circle jerk req’s- tag them, blah blah blah, and also speak about how you love drinking Coke while playing video games. And then Coca Cola would pay me a whopping (drumroll) $42.


When have I ever posted a photo of, spoke of or even brought up gaming? Or Coke, or even soda for that matter? Nice generic email, Nanc.

Have some dignity Nancy, and go fuck off somewhere else.

And really Coca Cola, the billion dollar brand? $42? Go find the nearest dingy gloryhole at the shittiest bar in town and go get fucked. Plus I highly doubt it was cash, probly just a coupon for $42 of Coke products knowing how slimy this industry is.

Some stupid hiking sticks

The other weird one I was roped into this month was from some (probably fictional) person named Tiff. Tiff sent me a DM on Instagram asking if I’d be interested in trying out some trekking gear. So I emailed her back and said yes, that this was a fit and asked find out what exactly the plan was (typically me posting a photo/photos on my account in these types of cases). I get an email back saying that she could probably procure some trekking poles. Ok, cool… but what are the details? Then a few days later I receive an email from good ol Tiff saying I didn’t win the drawing. Umm I didn’t enter into a drawing or contest and I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to just throw people into your contests without their consent, as well as your mailing list, Tiff.

Plus I don’t even understand what her plan was behind this anyways… fucking weird.

And my personal favorite: the CEO of Instaollowers

That’s not a typo, it’s not instafollowers. Of course the email kicked off with the same old ‘we’re impressed by the 80-thousand-whatever-odd followers you have’ but have you thought of what you could do with 300k followers? With 600k? With over 1m?

So his price list?

10,000 followers for $500 (Trial Package)

50,000 followers for $1,000

100,000 followers for $1,800

200,000 followers for $3,000

250,000 followers for $3,500

300,000 followers for $4,500

400,000 followers for $5,250

500,000 followers for $6,000 (Most Popular)

600,000 followers for $6,750

700,000 followers for $7,400

800,000 followers for $8,150

900,000 followers for $8,500

1,000,000 followers for $9,000 (Best Value)

Haha, really? No ones gonna notice when my Instagram account growth goes from the rate it’s at and then is suddenly several thousand to millions of followers larger in just 5-7 days? Oh and that’s right, you only take payment by bank wire.  HA, SCAM!

Plus I wonder if @FreePeople  @FitnessForAll  @FashionBook  @99Muses  @StyleArtists and @Revolve  will want their names on his site with his claims that him and his team grew them to that point.

Nice try, fuckboy.

I even took it upon myself to point out every weakness in his scam. He got a bit pissy over that one.

And pretty much every news outlet:

Unless you can tell us (the general populace) pure unbiased news, then go do us all a favor and go fuck off already.

~Rant over. 

And that’s a wrap!

Thanks for listening to me bitch about things annoying me for yet another month. I’ll be back in May with more Antarctica posts, some posts helping you plan more for Tajikistan travel this summer and some travel gadget/gear, heck maybe even travel toiletries recommendations, and hopefully some more video*… I got lots of ideas!

*I just want you to know that video is probably the absolute hardest media to produce! I now understand why so many vloggers only release videos 1x/week…

Ape Tours, Palawan, El Nido, Philippines


2 replies
  1. Carl
    Carl says:

    Have fun with the Italian citizenship thing. It’s a major PITA, that is for sure. Took me 5 years, start to finish and the consulate was (almost always) not helpful. (San Francisco) But it is worth it over all. I am in Italy right now and the only time I use my US Passport is when I buy my tix to come here and to re-enter the US. (That’s the law)

    Start working on getting your docs in order and any translations you need. That can be slow too.

    Best of luck!

    • Nicole
      Nicole says:

      Not looking forward to the process! I’ve ordered the naturalization papers and the birth certs from Italy. Naturalization papers have already come through, and am about to start in on collecting the birth/death/marriage certs of the family born in the states…. then of course to get them all translated. And I totally agree the SF consulate is not helpful at all. I wish I would have started it years ago back when I was saying ‘yeah, I’m gonna apply’…. only took 10 years of saying it to actually start on it!


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